I’m back again!
I know, I know, I have no consistency. I am terribly flippant and emotionally driven. I feel like I suddenly cocoon every few months and then emerge a stranger creature everytime. Like a shy little caterpillar that becomes a bold and brilliant butterfly, but then that butterfly cocoons again and emerges as a slightly less tolerant and slightly more aggressive version of the previous butterfly over and over again. Like a sad little teenager who thinks she’s edgy and punk when really she just has very bad stress management skills. Yup. That may be who I really am deep inside. I shant supress my true self any longer.
Anywho, I had a very pleasant experience today and I felt compelled to tell someone about it, and who better to tell of my personal life stories than a bunch of people on the internet whom I’ve never met before? Jolly good idea, I’d say.
So, let me begin by telling you that I have had a stressful weak, and as I mentioned above I have bad stress management skills (I’m an INFP according to an online Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, and supposedly they are notorious for having poor stress management). On Friday Januaury 27th a water main broke on my street, and so for a couple days we had no running water. They gave us a day of reprieve and turned the water back on, but still kept the drinking water advisory in effect, and then shut the water off again the next day. My shower opportunities were quite limited for the first half of this passed week, and that was quite irksome.
Then on Tuesday I got a sinus infection which turned into a vicious head cold on Wednesday, and then on that very same day my period started. On top of all that, I couldn’t call in sick at work because the other two supervisors who normally would have been available to take a shift both happened to have personal matters which they had to taken time off for this past week. No hard feelings, of course. Far be it from me to fault someone for needing time in their personal lives. I need more than what many would consider my fair share.
So, today has been the first day I could really lay back and rest for the whole day. The water is back on and the advisory is lifted, I have no social engagements I am required to take part in and because I am still sick my husband has been putting in an extra special effort to take care of me. However, once my husband left for work today, I couldn’t get back to sleep. This was a serious problem, because I didn’t get back home from work until 10:00 pm last night, and my husband’s alarm woke us up around 5:00 this morning because he started work at 6:15 today.
So, I’m sick, I’m stressed, and I haven’t had a decent enough sleep to recover my health in days. What does my brain decide to do with this dilemma? Obsess over politics. Oh yes, my body was in desperate need of some good old REM sleep, so my brain decided that I should scroll through political memes on Twitter. So I did just that. I ended up spending the rest of the day watching Steven Crowder videos, Sargon of Akkad videos, Rebel Media videos (especially Gavin Mcinnes) and some Paul Joseph Watson videos. Yes, I know, many of them are insensitive assholes, but I love them.
All I have wanted to do all week was get a good, long, uninterrupted sleep, but noooooooooo. My brain has to think about stuff. Why must my brain always think about stuff? Half the time they’re not even good thoughts. They’re just half baked ideas about things that don’t even matter in the long run. Why? Why, oh why do I do this to myself?
Then something wonderful happened. My husband came home around 4:00, and within a matter of minutes I began to feel sleepy. He made me a cup of hot chocolate, because even though he insists that tea would be better for me when I’m sick, I argued that I am more likely to take in large quanities of fluids if I drink hot chocolate because I drink it faster than tea. I won. He made me hot chocolate. However, by the time he brought the hot chocolate to me I was already nodding off. I forgot about the hot chocolate before I took a single sip, and fell asleep.
This is one of the tremendous benefits of having a strong, masculine, and dare I say it… dominant husband. The moment he was in the home I felt safe. The moment he walked in the door I felt calm and peaceful. I have realized that I fall alseep significantly faster when I know he is near by, and I have no doubt that is because his pressence gives me a deep sense of security.
So, once again I wish to give my thanks to all the strong men of God out there. To the men who understand the authority they walk in, and who understand that their strength must be tempered with patience and gentleness. A woman who is not battling against her own biology should recognize the value in your masculinity. I hope more women who wish to marry find men who will strive to keep them safe and won’t be ashamed of the implied gender roles therein. It really is a great blessing.
Thank you for reading my blog.
God bless you!