Dark Humour: An Indication of Depravity?

For a few years now I've seen a lot of criticism of dark humour (or gallows humour), as I'm sure many people have seen. I'm sure many people agree with the criticisms of dark humour. Many people believe it makes society in general think that serious issues aren't really all that serious. I would like to argue against that.

I have a bias. I love dark humour. I used to resist my love of dark humour because I thought it was bad, mainly for the reason I shared in the above paragraph. However, as I have been allowing myself to let my spontaneous responses to stimuli flow unhindered over the passed few years, I have begun to accept my appreciation for gallows humour. For those of us who are very sensitive and have had to heal from emotional trauma, it's practically therapeutic.

One of the issues I have run into during this process is the need other people have for my brand of humour to be explained to them. Humour is hard to explain. As I hinted above, it's spontaneous. It's a sort of intuition that everybody has whether they have a deeply intuitive mind or not, and as I talked about in a previous post, intuition is hard to reason with.

The specific issue I ran into was rape jokes. I don't usually think that rapes jokes are funny, but if I am to defend dark humour than surely that would include rape jokes, would it not? And although I was once a bit puritanical in regards to humour, I am no longer in a place where I feel the need to police other people's jokes. So, the question, "Why do you think rape jokes are funny?" weighed on my mind for a long time.

I thought about the intent of the humour as well as the reason for a spontaneous response to the humour. Are people laughing because they think rape is a joke? Are they laughing because they think the victim is a joke? Well, I don't know. I don't like getting into the habit of assigning motive anymore (which is one of the reasons that I have come to hate identity politics), so instead I will simply explain what I have found is my inner process for dark humour.

I love Cyanide and Happiness. It's a great comic which was eventually turned into a great YouTube channel. They deal with all sorts of dark, crude and inappropriate humour, and oh do they tickle my funny bone somethin' fierce! One of my favourite skits is called Ladder. You can watch it yourself if you'd like, but if you don't care to watch dark humour I will briefly describe it.

Basically, a boy can't get his cat out if a tree, so his father offers to help. He gets his ladder, extends it, and prepares to rest it vertically against the tree. Then, he whacks the cat with the ladder until the cat falls out of the tree. Oh, I love this skit. It brings me such joy. But why does it bring me joy? I don't approve if the abuse of animals. I would never be okay with it if I saw that happen in real life. Do I really think the cat's suffering is a joke?

Another bit of dark humour I enjoy comes from Dragon Ball Z Abridged. One of my favourite running gags (well, it was twice, but I hail it a running gag!) revolved around Gohan on Planet Namek. Gohan was a young child at the time, and on occasion he would be in a situation that could be deemed inappropriate, and he would say, "I need an adult." The adult with him would then say, "I am an adult." The implications are clear, and yet I thought it was a funny joke.

Anyone who has read my very early posts knows that I was molested when I was a child, so I know full well how serious it is. I do not think that child abuse is a joke, so why was I amused by that running gag? Well, if you know the show you'll probably know that it was a piece of an even larger joke which poked fun at how bad most if the adults in Gohan's life were at taking care of him, so there's that. Does that mean that deep down inside I think that his suffering is a joke?

Hardly. I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy this humour not because I think it pokes fun at the victims or the very concept of suffering, but because it pokes fun at the perpetrators. In Ladder, the cat's suffering wasn't the joke, the father was the joke. It was funny because my spontaneous response was to laugh at how stupid the father was. In DBZ Abridged, child abuse was not the joke, the adults were the jokes. I wasn't laughing at the poor treatment of Gohan, I was laughing at how pathetic the adults were.

I think it may be the same with rape jokes. I don't think they are supposed to make rape look like a joke, I don't even think they're supposed to make the woman look like a joke. I think they're meant to make the rapist (or the enabler of the rapist) look like a joke. Dark humour is hard to understand, because people seem to immediately assume that it makes victims and their suffering look pathetic, but that's not what it looks like to me. To me, it's making the one who caused the suffering look pathetic, and that's why I laugh.

Thank you very much for reading my post, and if you like don't humour please don't be afraid of it! Examine your own motives. Don't let other people assign your motives to you. They can't read your mind.

God bless you! (It feels so weird signing off with that on this post. Alas, I still feel shame for my dark humour. Oh well, hopefully that will be worked out one day.)

Hey, Guess What…

I’m back again! 

I know, I know, I have no consistency. I am terribly flippant and emotionally driven. I feel like I suddenly cocoon every few months and then emerge a stranger creature everytime. Like a shy little caterpillar that becomes a bold and brilliant butterfly, but then that butterfly cocoons again and emerges as a slightly less tolerant and slightly more aggressive version of the previous butterfly over and over again. Like a sad little teenager who thinks she’s edgy and punk when really she just has very bad stress management skills. Yup. That may be who I really am deep inside. I shant supress my true self any longer.

Anywho, I had a very pleasant experience today and I felt compelled to tell someone about it, and who better to tell of my personal life stories than a bunch of people on the internet whom I’ve never met before? Jolly good idea, I’d say. 

So, let me begin by telling you that I have had a stressful weak, and as I mentioned above I have bad stress management skills (I’m an INFP according to an online Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, and supposedly they are notorious for having poor stress management). On Friday Januaury 27th a water main broke on my street, and so for a couple days we had no running water. They gave us a day of reprieve and turned the water back on, but still kept the drinking water advisory in effect, and then shut the water off again the next day. My shower opportunities were quite limited for the first half of this passed week, and that was quite irksome.   

Then on Tuesday I got a sinus infection which turned into a vicious head cold on Wednesday, and then on that very same day my period started. On top of all that, I couldn’t call in sick at work because the other two supervisors who normally would have been available to take a shift both happened to have personal matters which they had to taken time off for this past week. No hard feelings, of course. Far be it from me to fault someone for needing time in their personal lives. I need more than what many would consider my fair share. 

So, today has been the first day I could really lay back and rest for the whole day. The water is back on and the advisory is lifted, I have no social engagements I am required to take part in and because I am still sick my husband has been putting in an extra special effort to take care of me. However, once my husband left for work today, I couldn’t get back to sleep. This was a serious problem, because I didn’t get back home from work until 10:00 pm last night, and my husband’s alarm woke us up around 5:00 this morning because he started work at 6:15 today. 

So, I’m sick, I’m stressed, and I haven’t had a decent enough sleep to recover my health in days. What does my brain decide to do with this dilemma? Obsess over politics. Oh yes, my body was in desperate need of some good old REM sleep, so my brain decided that I should scroll through political memes on Twitter. So I did just that. I ended up spending the rest of the day watching Steven Crowder videos, Sargon of Akkad videos, Rebel Media videos (especially Gavin Mcinnes) and some Paul Joseph Watson videos. Yes, I know, many of them are insensitive assholes, but I love them.

All I have wanted to do all week was get a good, long, uninterrupted sleep, but noooooooooo. My brain has to think about stuff. Why must my brain always think about stuff? Half the time they’re not even good thoughts. They’re just half baked ideas about things that don’t even matter in the long run. Why? Why, oh why do I do this to myself? 

Then something wonderful happened. My husband came home around 4:00, and within a matter of minutes I began to feel sleepy. He made me a cup of hot chocolate, because even though he insists that tea would be better for me when I’m sick, I argued that I am more likely to take in large quanities of fluids if I drink hot chocolate because I drink it faster than tea. I won. He made me hot chocolate. However, by the time he brought the hot chocolate to me I was already nodding off. I forgot about the hot chocolate before I took a single sip, and fell asleep. 

This is one of the tremendous benefits of having a strong, masculine, and dare I say it… dominant husband. The moment he was in the home I felt safe. The moment he walked in the door I felt calm and peaceful. I have realized that I fall alseep significantly faster when I know he is near by, and I have no doubt that is because his pressence gives me a deep sense of security. 

So, once again I wish to give my thanks to all the strong men of God out there. To the men who understand the authority they walk in, and who understand that their strength must be tempered with patience and gentleness. A woman who is not battling against her own biology should recognize the value in your masculinity. I hope more women who wish to marry find men who will strive to keep them safe and won’t be ashamed of the implied gender roles therein. It really is a great blessing. 

Thank you for reading my blog. 

God bless you! 

God Loves Pedophiles, Too

Hello everyone. Today I’m going to speak on another topic which revolves around sexuality. I have mentioned it before, and God has placed it on my heart (very heavily) to work against the condemnation that is heaped onto these individuals. I want to work with Jesus to break this spirit of condemnation that so many Christians feel is okay and even righteous in this particular situation. I’m talking about pedophilia and child molestation. Yes, I mean it.

If you’ve read my previous posts all the way back to my earliest ones, then you should know that I have experienced sexual abuse in my childhood. So, I am speaking from experience here. As Christians it is not okay for us to condemn pedophiles and child molesters. I know this will probably shock a lot of readers (if not everyone who reads this). For people who have children I acknowledge that your love for your children is very strong and that even the thought of somebody doing something evil to them is likely revolting to you. However, this does not mean that it is okay to condemn anyone who does such things. Here is why I say this:

I believe that it is important for us to be careful not to encourage our children to withhold forgiveness from others because of how they see us treating those who hurt them. That could prevent them from finding peace and cause their suffering to last throughout their entire lives. In my struggle with homosexuality, sexual abuse and lust, I have found that people look at sexual abuse/immorality/impurity as reason to cast judgement and condemnation on others. This is not righteousness. I would like to point out Romans 12:17-21. It is not our job to take vengeance. It is our job to operate under the new covenant of Jesus Christ, under which there is no condemnation. Romans 8:1 Now, probably those who molest children are not in Christ Jesus (Although we cannot be certain. Who among us can say that we who are in Christ Jesus do not commit sins any more?), but we must still be kind to our enemies. “Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

I have found that there are still many people who allow their emotional reactions to such things to control what they say and do. I once saw a picture on Facebook with a vicious dog in the top cut, and a man in an orange jumpsuit sitting between two lawyers in the bottom cut. The text on this picture read: “When a dog attacks a child and scars them for life the dog is put to sleep. Shouldn’t we do the same to Pedophiles?”, and in the comment section I see message after message of “Yes!” and even “Amen!” I then see message after message of “Torture them first” or “Make them feel what they made the kids feel!” I honestly believe that this is a very selfish standpoint. I believe this is a mindset that places one’s own desire to have immediate satisfaction in terms of justice and revenge as a higher priority than a child’s complete healing so that they may one day gain permanent psychological well-being. If we cannot forgive, we cannot forget. If we cannot forget, we cannot move on. I still remember what happened to me, but thanks be to God I have long forgotten the pain and confusion that was a result of the abuse. God has let me forget my troubles. (We actually got a dog from my uncle who was named Manasseh, which is what Joseph named one of his sons because “God [made him] forget all [his] trouble…” Genesis 41:51. I think that’s pretty cool.)

I have seen a few people quote Matthew 18:6 to support their desire to kill and even torture those who molest children. Well, here’s what I have to say to that. If we cause a child to withhold forgiveness because of how they see us treating those who hurt them, aren’t we causing them to stumble, too? If this is true, then any child caught in such a situation would be caused to stumble twice over the same matter. This is not progress. It’s actually a step backwards. I sometimes wonder if perhaps we stopped condemning pedophiles, but instead taught our children to forgive them, we might see a generation rise up that feels totally clean and pure even if they’ve experienced sexual abuse. For it was when I forgave that the end of my suffering and confusion began. It was when I truly forgave, not only in my heart but through confession of my lips as well, that I was able to begin the deeper healing process with Jesus. Allowing a child to begin deeper healing with Jesus is a higher priority than justice through vengeance in my books. I could be wrong, but if we can teach a child to forgive and walk with Jesus in their pain and suffering, than nothing in this life can hold them down even if they are made to stumble.

James 3:13-18

I was once bitter and unforgiving against the one who abused me. However, God was not pleased with my bitter and unforgiving heart, nor did he approve when my desire to take justice and vengeance into my own hands rose up in my heart. I realized that because Jesus does not bind me to my sin, I have no right to bind anyone to theirs, no matter how it might offend my human sensibilities (which are probably flawed). Not even I have any right to condemn a pedophile or child molester.

Jesus came to save ANYONE who would believe in him, right? Anyone. No matter what they’ve done. What message are we sending to pedophiles in this day and age? Most of us send the message that they cannot be saved, and they cannot be forgiven. What then will Jesus say when we are standing before him? Will he ask us, “Why did you place a stumbling block for those people? Why did you speak in a way that stopped them from being saved? Do you not know that I died for them, too? Does my sacrifice mean so little to you? Do you not know that my blood was shed for them just as much as it was shed for you?” Do we have so little respect for Christ’s suffering that we do not care that his wounds were for pedophiles, too?

As Christians, it is our duty to continue Christ’s ministry, and open a way for the Holy Spirit to impart truth to the world. We have really nailed in the truth that they have sinned, but have we balanced it with the truth that they can be forgiven? Not with pedophiles we haven’t. With pedophiles all we say is that they have sinned. Very few are willing to say that they can be forgiven.  Is that what we wish for? Do we wish for those who have molested children not to be forgiven? I believe that is selfish. I believe that dishonours Christ’s suffering. As much as many of us don’t want to think about it, they were made in the image of God, too. Just like us.

God loves them, too.

So, what message will we send to pedophiles the next time an opportunity to speak on the topic comes? Will we use partial, worldly, and even demonic wisdom to satisfy our own (often perverse) desire for justice? Or will we be quiet in spirit, and wait for the Holy Spirit to prompt us to open a way for them to hear the gospel. They can be forgiven, perhaps we should let them know. The blood of Christ can cleans us, and it can cleanse them, too.

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.  For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.” Colossians 1:15-16 All things includes all things, which includes pedophiles. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and it’s not up to us to rank who fell farther. It’s up to us to help each other find our way back, and to do so under the authority of Jesus. Let’s stop robbing Jesus of the people he died for because of our own selfish ambitions and bitterness. How about we speak life to everyone, even when it’s hard to? That’s what Jesus came to do.

And for those that say pedophiles cannot change, perhaps remember Matthew 19:26,

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'” (Again I will say, all things includes all things.)

And Proverbs 3:5-6,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

How much faith do we put in Jesus, and how much faith do we put in our own understanding?

Well, that’s all I have to say for now. Thank you for reading my blog. 🙂