I Can’t Internet Guys

Hello everyone… And goodbye everyone…

I love blogging and being in fellowship with other bloggers who bring new and interesting perspectives to light.  But, I just can’t Internet. I have tried again and again, I have removed and redownloaded Facebook on my phone over and over again. I just can’t do it without sacrificing some degree of my mental health. 

If there’s anybody who wants to stay in contact with me, then please e-mail me at anaisahepp@gmail.com. Please don’t hesitate if you want to e-mail me. 

Thank you to everyone who has read my blog and made me feel appreciated. 

Have a great life, and God bless you all. 

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Sometimes Lyrics Annoy Me

Hello everyone! I’ve been trying to sit myself down and right another blog post for the past week, but my brain has been kind of all over the place. I keep having little thoughts that turn into whole blog posts in my head while I’m at work, but then when I get home I just take a bag of chips to bed and watch YouTube. Not only that, but I’m struggling to write 10 things I love about my dad, which I’ve been meaning to do for a while. Not because I don’t love him, but because he’s a great guy and I love him as a whole so much that it’s hard to break it all down into smaller points. 

Well, here’s a thought I had at work a few days ago that I continued to rant out loud about while walking home each day. 

Music affects me. It probably affects everybody. Lyrics can make or break a song to me, and sometimes I hear a lyric that bugs me so much that I’ll start singing my own lyrics in it’s place. Unfortunately because I work at chain store I have no choice but to hear music that annoys me if it comes on. 

A few days ago the song Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie came on. When this song was first on the radio I didn’t think much of it, but after having to hear it a kajillion times the lyrics started sticking out like a sore thumb. One lyric in particular really bugged me. 

“And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket.”

I know, it’s not a bad lyric. It’s maybe weird, but not bad. Well, I really don’t like it. I’ve come to believe that the biggest blow you can give to the average woman’s ego is to make her believe she is not wanted, and the biggest blow you can give to the average man’s ego is to make him believe he is not needed. What does this lyric say? It compares the emotional attatchment to the (probably male romantic partner) subject of the song to the emotional attachment of a child to an old blanket. Wanted, but no longer needed. To most women this is probably fine. Not ideal but still okay, because being wanted even when we’re still not needed is almost comforting, even if the comfort is a bit bitter. What if this could be devestating to a man? Yeah, sure, he’s still wanted, but now he has about as much practical use and purpose as an old children’s blanket. 

It’s a small thing, just some pop song, but it has been making me think lately. 

Well, those have been my thoughts. Thank you for reading! God bless!!

Of Biological Inclinations and Rotten Produce

Hey guys… I’ve been thinking some unconventional thoughts today… Some reeeeaaaaally out of the box thoughts. Like reeeeaaaaally out there in the far reaches of space where political correctness hasn’t been seen or heard of for a few billion light years. 

So, about a week ago I saw a post on Facebook which talks about a status update someone made. In the status update it is relayed that a woman and a man sat down to watch some TV together at the woman’s house after a date. Suddenly the woman’s dog jumped up on the man’s lap and the man pushed the dog off quite violently and snarled “I hate dogs!” The woman got up and told the man to leave. In this post it is revealed that the comments on the status update don’t side much with the woman, but actually assert that the woman should have warned the man about the dog. 

Then the person writing this post tells us that they made another status update that relayed the same story, but had the genders reversed. It is then revealed that most of the comments of that post once again do not side with the woman. Instead of saying, “He should have warned her about the dog,” they heavily chastise her. 

At the end of the post this person writes, “And this is reason (insert larger number here) that we still need feminism.”

So, my sudden thought today was that maybe, maaaybeee, juuuust maaaaaybeeee the difference in the responses from the commenters to each story was just a little tiny bit kind of almost perhaps in a sense sort of maybe justified? Even just a smidgen?

OKAY OKAY OKAY DON’T THROW YOUR ROTTEN PRODUCE AT ME JUST YET!!! Just let me explain myself first. 

We all think that it’s awful to hear of an adult harming a child, right? It’s always detestable to the masses. However, isn’t there usually a particular disqust that is felt and expressed when a child is harmed by his or her own parents? Sure, we don’t ever want to see an adult harming a child, but isn’t there something distinctly revolting when it’s a parent harming his or her own child. 

Why might this be? Well, I think it’s because there is an expectation for parents to be strongly biologically inclined to do what is right and beneficial for their own children no matter what. Anyone harming a child shows a lack of natural affection, but a parent harming his or her own child shows an exceptional lack of natural affection. And might I suggest that women are supposed to have a strong biological inclinations to be nurturing toward smaller, dependant creatures? And that men are not supposed to have as strong of a biological inclination to be nurturing toward smaller, dependant creatures? 

I once watched a documentary on YouTube called The Tiniest Girl in The World, which is about a girl whose growth was severely stunted. Her body from a purely objective point of view looks strange. In the comments it seemed that most of the women were praising her for being cute or beautiful, while it seemed that most of the men were saying that she just looked creepy. 

It seems to me that women are more likely to distinguish whom they will nurture and give affection to by how much someone or something resembles young offspring, and men are not. Men seem more likely to make such distinguishments based simply upon who lives in there household and who does not live in their household. Whom they are personally responsible for and whom they are not personally responsible for. 

And perhaps that is a good thing. Maybe it is good that the gender which has what is physically nessecary to bear and nurture infants would have a mind more suited to nurturing. Maybe it is good that the gender which would then be needed to protect and provide for the mother and child during times of very involved nurturing would have a mind more suited to protection. Not being overburdened by those whom he is not personally responsible for, so not to be distracted from the mother and child. Always being prepared that a threat could come, maybe in the form of an animal or a suspicious human. Perhaps this sounds primal, but I believe the primal stuff never really left us, and never really will. Maybe these are biological inclinations having nothing to do with social constructs, and therefore cannot be changed by trying to tear down social constructs. 

So, while it may show a lack of natural affection for a man to not instinctually want to nurture smaller dependant creatures, perhaps it shows an exceptional lack of natural affection for a woman to not instinctually want to nurture smaller, dependant creatures. 

Boy, I really went off on a tangent there. Okay, you can throw your rotten produce at me now. 

Your Words Matter

Today I received a compliment from a man whom respect, and I realized something. I almost feel giddy when a man whom I respect compliments me. Even if it’s a simple, “Hey, nice dress.” It just makes me giddy. Of course I love it when women compliment me. It feels great to hear my female friends tell me things that they appreciate about me. It can really give me a boost when a woman I respect compliments me, too. But something about a man’s acknowledgement of my qualities is just so unique. 

I think it may have something to do with authority. I believe that God has given man greater authority than woman. Women do have authority, but if I am to keep true to God’s word and his order of things, which I want to do, I must acknowledge that at least on a spiritual level a man’s authority is innately greater. 

I don’t have a problem with this. In fact I am thankful for it. I do not envy the authority that my husband holds, and I am very grateful that he accepts the responsibilities that come along with his measure of authority. 

That being said, I shall go back to my original point. I simply love receiving compliments from respected men! It’s almost like receiving praise from someone higher up the corporate ladder at my place of work. Sure, it’s great receiving compliments from a peer at work. That’s very encouraging. But when someone who has more authority and therefore more responsibility takes notice of something I’ve done and says, “I’m impressed. Good job.” I become giddy. There’s something so gratifying about that!  

It’s almost like I get the feeling of… Oh dare I say it… “Senpai noticed me!” LOL I was steeped in anime and Japanese culture as a teenager…

Anywho, I just wanted to share that today. Men of God, your compliments matter. To those who acknowledge and accept your authority, your words really do have an impact. Sometimes that thought may be nerve racking, but I hope it’s also encouraging. 🙂 

God bless!

Anaisa 

…It feels kind of weird writing this freely. I hope I eventually get used to it.

10 Things I Love About My Brothers

I am really beginning to enjoy writing more light hearted posts lately. I think I shall continue. I am the baby of the family, and the only girl. I have two older brothers named Josh and Erik, and today I will share ten things that make them grewt brothers.

10 Things I Love About My Brothers 

1. They have always protected me.

Whether from ominous threats or creepy admirers, my brothers have always been more than willing to step in and keep me safe. Wether by threatening to relocate an unwelcomed suitor’s testicles, walking me to and from school when a rumor was started that me and my girlfriend at the time were going to get jumped, or by offering to fight a then future in-law who didn’t take kindly to me at first, my brothers always have and I’m sure always will stick up for me. 

2. It has always been a personal goal of their’s to make me laugh.

Sometimes it was just for their own amusement – like when they would try to make me laugh so hard at the dinner table that I’d squirt milk out my nose, or have to run to the bathroom because laughing so much made me have to pee – but other times it was because they genuinly wanted me to be happy. When I was much younger the older of my two brothers, Josh, had a particular performance that always made me laugh. He would pretend to be a dog who gets electricuted because he was chewing on a wire. It’s pretty morbid, but apperently he could always cheer me up when I was sad with his great comedic timing in his “Dog Gets Electricuted” bit. I’ve always been a bit twisted. 

3. They noticed my struggles, and remembered them. 

I struggle to keep up with regular day to day life, and I recently found out that Erik understood that. Not only did he understand it, but he had compassion for me because of it. Almost every time I have tried to do a full-time job I have had nervous breakdowns and became depressed. Sometimes dangerously depressed. About a month ago I was offered a promotion at my job, which demanded more responsibility and effort from me, and I accepted the promotion. My mother told my brother about the promotion, and he asked with genuine concern in his voice, “Does that mean she doesn’t have panic attacks because of work anymore?” I was so touched when my mother told this to me. 

4. They can lighen up just about any situation. 

My brothers are not too keen on conflict, so they sometimes handle conflict by totally deflecting it with their own special brands of humour. For example, one day some of Josh’s friends were having a very intense debate on Facebook, and he thought it was getting way too out of hand, so he left a single three word comment on the thread: “I like pie.” Those three words derailed the entire conversation, and before long everyone was discussing their favourite pastries. 

5. Josh is a man of few words.

You may have picked that one up from the previous point. Josh generally doesn’t speak much unless he feels something needs to be said. On top of that, he will only feel the need to say something if he truly, honestly believes it. I can always trust Josh to say what he means and mean what he says. 

6. Erik is a man of great volume. 

He is a loud man. Very loud. To this day my mom and I joke about what we called his “peackock impressions”. It was mearly the sound he made when he stretched, but we honestly thought it sounded like a peackock. His volume is also in his personality. He is often the life of the party, and he doesn’t even try to be. It’s just his natural personality. 

7. They taught me that opposites are fun. 

As I’m sure you also picked up from the last two points, there are ways in which my brothers are polar opposites. By sharing a home with these two very different personalities for about 18 years, I have learned to love seeing different people balancing out the social atmosphere. It’s quite fun. It’s almost enchanting to see a man of few words and a man of great volume enjoying eachother’s company. 

8. They care for those who are weaker.

Whether it’s a poorly treated pet or a child being bullied, my brothers hate to see somebody using whatever advantage they may have over another to abuse them. My brothers have leant their strength to those who have none left.

9. They defend my mother.

My mother is fostering two boys right now, and because of the disfunctional household they grew up in they don’t really understand how to show respect to people, especially not to women. They will sometimes say particularity hurtful things about my mom that sometimes really get to her. When my brothers are around they don’t tolerate this. They quickly put the boys in their place and in a way they defend my mother’s honour. 

10. Their eyes.

My brothers’ eyes speak volumes about who they are. Of all the people in my life who are truly special to me, my brothers are the only people apart from my husband whose eyes always catch my attention. Why? Because their eyes are full of sincerity. Josh’s eyes are full of gentleness. Erik’s eyes are filled with caring. They both have such genuine, unwavering, untainted compassion in their eyes. It has always caught my attention. 

Thanks for reading! I’m really enjoying writing these things! I would like to suggest that other women who have good men in their lives do something similar, even if it’s in a private journal. I’m really beginning to wonder if we women don’t always acknowledge the virtues within the men we love as much as we should. 🙂 (Actually I’ve wondered that since I was a teenager.)
God bless!

10 Things I Love About My Husband

Recently I enjoyed the lovely posts 10 Things To Love About Men, Love Languages, and about a month ago Men at Work. These posts have all got me thinking about the things I love about the men in my life, and so I have decided to write about it. :3 I shall start with the man I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with.  

10 Things I Love About My Husband

1. I don’t have to do anything to make him happy.

There are certainly things I can do to make him happy, but generally he’s pretty content with his life, and often whenever I do something that insights a joyful response from him, it isn’t anything I put any effort into. Like a smile. Just a smile can light up his world. It’s like everything turns into rainbows and gumdrops just because I smiled at him. 

2. He calls me Beautiful. 

Like it’s my name. He calls me Beautiful as if it’s a noun, and I am the definition of the noun. He calls me Beautiful as if I am the very essence and incarnation of the word. 

3. He treats me well no matter what mood he’s in.

I have seen a few men who treat the women in their lives according to their mood. Although I have not witnessed this to be the norm, I am still thankful that my husband isn’t like that. If he’s in a good mood he gives me hugs and kisses. If he’s in a bad mood he’ll give me hugs and kisses. If he’s in a good mood he’ll give me compliments. If he’s in a bad mood he’ll give me compliments. If he’s in a good mood he’ll be concerned with my well being. If he’s in a bad mood he’ll be concerned with my well being. He always shows his love for me no matter how he’s feeling in the moment.

4. He washes the dishes. 

He doesn’t grumble when he does it either. He just listens to music and gets the job done, without complaining about it even once. 

5. He’s punny.

Okay, I often get on his case for this, because in my opinion his puns are usually really lame, but deep down inside I find his puns kind of charming. I even think it’s charming that he’s always so pleased with himself after he tells a really dumb pun. He insists it was clever, witty, and funny. He will also have this really smug smile on his face after he’s told a pun that he thinks is particularity amusing and I think is particularity annoying… And God help me deep down inside I am charmed by that…

6. He loves the quirks of my personality. 

He tells me that I am perfect for him in every way. At first I thought he was just being all gushy and lovey-dovey, but with each passing day I see that he’s actually being serious when he tells me that. All the things I do that I think should annoy him actually make him happy. Like my sass. I can be very sassy, and my husband loves it. I can also be very awkward, but my husband loves that too! I also have sudden outbursts of various emotion, usually joy and excitement, and he even likes that. He says it keeps him sane. LOL

7. He qualifies my quirks as being special. 

When I giggle he’ll say, “Anaisa giggles.” Or when I kick my legs about (which is one of the forms of my outbursts of joy and excitement) he’ll say “Anaisa kicks.” As if everything I do is completely unique and special to me. Totally set apart from everyone else. 

8. He prefers reality to fantasy. 

He has never shown any interest in the sexual fantasies that the media tries to sell us. He scoffs at Victoria’s Secret adds and the larger than life pictures of women modelling LaSenza lingerie in the mall. There was a day when we passed by a booth that was selling art. I saw a life sized painting of a half naked woman, and after we passed it my husband said something along the lines of, “That was a nice stapler.” I looked at him and asked him if he saw the painting of the half naked lady, and he answered “No.” He looked a bit dumbfounded. I looked back and saw a small framed photo of a chrome stapler only inches away from the life sized painting that caught my attention. I knew for sure then and there that my husband was far more interested in me than any fantasy. 

9. His inner child is alive and well.

I got him a Star Wars Lego set for Christmas, and he had so much fun building it. Then after he built it, he flew his Lego star craft around the bed and shot laser things at his Barney plushes. He even emulated the sounds the Barney plushes would make upon being hit by lasers.  

10. He is probably among the manliest men I know, and yet he has quite the soft spot for his baby girl.

And his baby girl would be our bunny, Beatrice. My husband has such a strong and commanding alpha personality that he can strike fear into his boss without lifting a finger. But when he comes home he will melt into a puddle on the floor if our bunny simply rests her paws on his foot. And don’t even think of joking about Hasenpfeffer on a cold winter’s night, or you may find yourself out in the snow. He takes his baby girl’s safety and dignity very seriously. 

My husband is wonderful! I hope you enjoyed reading about how wonderful he is! 🙂 

God bless!!