Feisty

Good day all! Let me begin this entry by telling you that my husband and I had a lovely visit with my mother yesterday, and during our visit we reminisced about years past. Hearing the stories of my childhood from my mother’s perspective delighted me so much that I have decided to share them with you here. 🙂

As some of you may recall, I revealed in my very first blog post ever that I was born with a complication called Gastroschisis, which required immediate surgery. What I did not reveal was how unbelievably stubborn and lively I was in NICU…

After the surgery the doctors put me into an induced coma for ten days, and after taking me out of the coma they probably expected that I would behave in a fairly weak and docile manner. After all, I had not yet reached the two week mark of my life and I had already experienced invasive surgery and a morphine induced coma.

Nope.

I apparently hated the respiratory tube they had down my throat, because I constantly tried to pull it out. I also seemed to hate the IVs, because I tried pulling those out, too. Eventually, at about five weeks I think it was, my mother walked into the NICU to see me with mittens on my hands, my hands tied to my chest, and my head shaven with a bunch of IVs sticking out of it. So, naturally my mom asked, “What did you do to my baby?” The nurses then proceeded to tell her that I had been pulling my IVs out and I wouldn’t stop. I nearly bled out a couple times. I guess I really didn’t like foreign tubes in my body and had no patience for them.

Later on after my respiratory tube was removed (by the nurses, not by me) my mother came into the NICU again and saw me laying quite content underneath a Winney The Pooh mobile. She asked the nurses how I’d been, and they told her that the respiratory tube sure didn’t damage my throat. My mother asked what they meant by that, and they informed her that I threw a fit any time the Winney The Pooh mobile was taken away so another baby could have it for a while. I would scream, and scream, and scream, and I simply wouldn’t stop until the Winney The Pooh mobile was placed over me again. Needless to say I got my way.

The word that was most often used to describe me was “feisty”.

In another entry I told the story of when I had to get stitches when I was a young child, and instead if displaying fear I was just pissed off. Well, apparently I got run over by a car once (because I ran across the street with out looking), and the poor guy who was driving the car got out and saw me laying on the ground. He immediately picked me up and ran me to my house (he lived just down the street from us so he recognized me) and even though I was crying it was not entirely for the reason he thought. Sure I was in shock, but mostly I was mad. I wanted to go back and continue playing with the sidewalk chalk with my friends, and now my mom was going to take me to the doctor’s office. Ugh! Talk about a fun sponge!

Then, when we were finally at the doctor’s office the doctor kept looking at my leg and knee. Come on, how many times did he really have to check my knee? According to my mother I kept complaining that it was going to be dark when we got home, and I wasn’t allowed to ride my bike after dark. That made me mad, too. Apparently the doctor asked me how my leg felt, and I kicked it up and down vigorously and declared, “Look, it’s fine, see!? Can I go home now?” And according to my mother I said that with a heaping helping of sass.

Oh, the memories. What was especially sweet about hearing these stories was that my husband was there hearing them, too. He has told me many times that he loves my sass and attitude – my feistiness – and he was learning that the attitude he loves so much is truly a deep part of who I am. Ah, what a lovely day that was.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as I much as I enjoyed hearing it. Thank you for reading my blog and God bless you.

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Joy

A lovely young lady whom I simply can’t say enough good things about just wrote a blog post about cultivating joy as part of being a godly wife, and I totally agree with her. That’s one of the things that my husband often mentions when he tells me things that he loves about me. He has said many times that he has never seen such joy in any one, and that no one has ever made him feel such joy as I have.

I have been called happy, joyful, bubbly and cheerful. Just this afternoon a customer at my place of work told me that she appreciated my cheeriness. In high school a friend of mine jokingly theorized that my brain must be made of marihuana, because he couldn’t believe that anyone could be so happy all the time. A few years ago at church someone told me not to lose my smile because it lights up the room.

Why then do I struggle with depression?

Oh yes, quite the sharp turn I just took there. Well, that’s what life is often like for me emotionally. One sharp turn after another. Lately I’m beginning to wonder if I’m manic depressive.

But what is the cause? Well, I believe there are a few sub causes that all fit under one main cause. I think the first sub cause is my attempt to justify each and every mood swing. I don’t like thinking that what I’m feeling might not be justified. I just want to feel. Unfortunately I do have to acknowledge when my mood swings are completely uncalled for eventually. I don’t usually do that though…

Another sub cause would be my tendency to destroy my own self esteem. When others see a minor slip up in me I see a landslide of failure, and I just continuously put myself down until I am convinced that I have degraded myself as much as I deserve.

Another sub cause is my habit of remaining in my basement suite by myself whenever I have free time. I am very protective of my alone time and am unwilling to spare any of it if I feel that even a tiny portion of it is under threat. This sub cause leads to another sub cause which is a lack of sunlight.

Basically, I am resisting correction, resisting mercy, and resisting relationship.

What major cause could all these sub causes fit into, you may ask?

Well, I’m trying to be the god of my own life.

I decide when my thoughts or behaviours should or should not be corrected or when they are justified.
I decide when I should or should not receive mercy.
I decide when people are allowed in my life.

I’m trying to be the god of my own life, and as a result the joy of the Lord is escaping my grasp. If I am to find the joy of the Lord again I must first accept that He is God and I am not, and begin living my life accordingly.

All glory belongs to God. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. I must behave in accordance with this truth. Then the joy of the Lord will be in me again. 🙂

Thank you for reading my blog. God bless you!!! 🙂

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Good Evening!

I have been nominated by Sam Galimore for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Wow! Thank you! I have to admit I was quite taken aback when I found out. It was 10 days ago that Sam told me and I only started writing a blog post for it now.

Here are the rules that go along with this nomination:

1. Thank the one who nominated you by linking their blog and display the award emblem.
2. Nominate some other blogs (15ish or so) and link them.
3. Mention three things that inspired you the most in the last week or so…

Here are my nominees… Not nearly fifteen of them, but here they are!

Younggodlywomen: Crystal is a lovely young woman whom I have the pleasure and deep blessing of having as my personal friend. She is both kind and bold, and is not ashamed of the truth of scripture. Thank you for being such an inspiring writer, Crystal.

AsktheBigot: Katy is a delightful woman with a unique perspective on both the political and spiritual controversies of our day. I appreciate her blog so much as it has helped inspire me in times when I felt totally defeated. Her persistence in the face of persecution is also inspiring! Keep on keepin’ on!

Ufuomaee: Ufuoma is another lady who helped inspire me when I felt totally defeated. She encouraged me greatly and I am always thankful for that. Unfortunately I have not kept up with her blog lately, but from what I remember she writes about very sensitive topics in a very humble manner.

Honestly, Crystal has given me a great deal of inspiration in the last couple of weeks. Her daily persistence in the face of persecution is amazing to me.

I was also inspired by my lovely cousin who sent me a care package this week when I was only expecting a letter. She really lifted my spirit.

My husband inspires me as well. His love and support is constant, and always very sweet.

Thank you all for being a part of my life. Have a great week!

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