I made a video. 😀
Yesterday I was pondering the belief that one’s sexual orientation is innate and cannot be changed, and I realized something. Almost every testimony I have ever heard or read of Christian’s being unable to change their sexual orientation had one common theme. They asked God to make them straight. They tried to “pray the gay away” as some people put it. They made heterosexuality their goal.
This always went over my head. I could never really understand it, so I never really tried to. I would note it, but I could never connect or relate to it. Here’s why:
That conversation never happened between me and God. I never asked Him to make me straight. I never made heterosexuality my goal. My goal was Jesus. My goal was to have a better relationship with my Heavenly Father. My life was not changed by “praying the gay away”. My life was changed by desiring God above all things.
Let me tell you what did happen between God and myself. I was in the laundry room contemplating all of the relationships in my life, and I realized that there is no relationship I will ever have that will ever be as important as my relationship with God. That was the changing moment. I committed myself to making my relationship with God the highest priority over all other relationships. That was the catalyst.
I believe that this is why so many reparative therapy programs and sexual conversion organizations have failed. Exodus International closed it’s doors last year and apologized to the LGBT community for “years of undue suffering and judgment at the hands of the organization and the Church as a whole.” These organizations make heterosexuality the goal, not Jesus, and that is why they have failed. This is a large reason why the homosexual controversy continues to gain steam.
When I was younger, perhaps still only 18 years old, I had a meeting with my pastor, along side my father, to ask permission to begin a small group specifically for young men and women who struggle with homosexuality. He was very excited to equip me to do this, and gave me as much advice as he could during the meeting. Eventually he gave me a little homework. One of the things he told me to do was to look into the Ministries and Organizations that already exist in this field and maybe speak to some of the people in these organizations.
That night I went on the computer and searched for the websites of these ministries. I only searched one. I don’t even remember what it was, but I didn’t like it. I remember that it pissed me off. I don’t remember why, all I remember is that the single website made me so angry that I gave up on the venture entirely. I remember thinking, “If I were still gay, this would seriously piss me off. I don’t think this would have helped me at all.”
I didn’t contact my pastor about it again for fear that he would insist that I try to run the small group similarity to how these other ministries were run. I’m sure that I could have spoken to him reasonably about it, for he’s a reasonable guy, but I didn’t know how to articulate what bothered me about it, so I didn’t try. Now I know why.
My Christian brothers and sisters, please listen to me. We must admonish each other, but we must not miss the mark. We must not convince others who struggle with homosexuality that heterosexuality is their ultimate goal. Jesus should be any Christian’s ultimate goal. The by-products of Holiness are not the ultimate goal. The benefits being in right relationship with the Father are not the ultimate goal. These are all good things and should be sought for, but not as a priority over God Himself.
Thank you for reading my blog. God bless you. 🙂
Therefore don’t throw away your boldness, which has a great reward. For you need endurance so that, having done the will of God, you may receive the promise.
For a time I had thrown away boldness because I was discouraged. I felt defeated. So many disagree with what I believe, and some even believe that people with beliefs like mine aren’t even real Christians. So, I gave up. I let everyone else bicker and argue amongst themselves and just enjoyed my new marriage. There’s nothing wrong with doing that for a time, but I ignored what I believe God has placed on my shoulders for too long now.
Thanks to a lovely lady on the blogosphere, who recently re-blogged one of my posts, I have some boldness again. One of the functions of the church is to encourage each other (Thessalonians 5:11), and Ufuoma did that wonderfully!
Today I want to share something that’s been on my heart for a long time. When I published the blog post, The Principality of Homosexuality, I was terrified. I was so scared that I was wrong. I did not want to think of myself as being wiser that I ought. However, I believed that it was and is the truth, and so I published it.
Afterword I continued to wonder if everyone else was right and I was wrong, and as I pondered that I found myself trying to pick some sleep out of my eye. I was picking at it quite persistently until finally I felt a searing pain in the corner of my eye. I touched my finger to my tear duct and then examined it, and low and behold I saw blood on my finger. In that moment Luke 6:41-42 came to mind:
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
I was so convinced I had something lodged in my eye that I damaged my own eye while trying to remove a speck that wasn’t there.
I think that this is what many members of the church have done. We have dug out pieces of our eyes because others accused us of not seeing clearly. Well, now we REALLY can’t see clearly. Even if we wanted to remove specks from our brothers’ eyes out of genuine concern for their well being (for admonishment is also a function of the church – Colossians 3:16), it is now impossible for many of us to do that. Unless, of course, if Jesus does some healing and restores our eyes.
God placed the foundation for Godly marriage, and we can’t just replace it with a new foundation. It won’t work. We may try, and we may even deceive ourselves into thinking that it works, but I do not believe that God’s foundations can be changed.
Thank you for reading my blog. 🙂