God Loves Pedophiles, Too

Hello everyone. Today I’m going to speak on another topic which revolves around sexuality. I have mentioned it before, and God has placed it on my heart (very heavily) to work against the condemnation that is heaped onto these individuals. I want to work with Jesus to break this spirit of condemnation that so many Christians feel is okay and even righteous in this particular situation. I’m talking about pedophilia and child molestation. Yes, I mean it.

If you’ve read my previous posts all the way back to my earliest ones, then you should know that I have experienced sexual abuse in my childhood. So, I am speaking from experience here. As Christians it is not okay for us to condemn pedophiles and child molesters. I know this will probably shock a lot of readers (if not everyone who reads this). For people who have children I acknowledge that your love for your children is very strong and that even the thought of somebody doing something evil to them is likely revolting to you. However, this does not mean that it is okay to condemn anyone who does such things. Here is why I say this:

I believe that it is important for us to be careful not to encourage our children to withhold forgiveness from others because of how they see us treating those who hurt them. That could prevent them from finding peace and cause their suffering to last throughout their entire lives. In my struggle with homosexuality, sexual abuse and lust, I have found that people look at sexual abuse/immorality/impurity as reason to cast judgement and condemnation on others. This is not righteousness. I would like to point out Romans 12:17-21. It is not our job to take vengeance. It is our job to operate under the new covenant of Jesus Christ, under which there is no condemnation. Romans 8:1 Now, probably those who molest children are not in Christ Jesus (Although we cannot be certain. Who among us can say that we who are in Christ Jesus do not commit sins any more?), but we must still be kind to our enemies. “Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

I have found that there are still many people who allow their emotional reactions to such things to control what they say and do. I once saw a picture on Facebook with a vicious dog in the top cut, and a man in an orange jumpsuit sitting between two lawyers in the bottom cut. The text on this picture read: “When a dog attacks a child and scars them for life the dog is put to sleep. Shouldn’t we do the same to Pedophiles?”, and in the comment section I see message after message of “Yes!” and even “Amen!” I then see message after message of “Torture them first” or “Make them feel what they made the kids feel!” I honestly believe that this is a very selfish standpoint. I believe this is a mindset that places one’s own desire to have immediate satisfaction in terms of justice and revenge as a higher priority than a child’s complete healing so that they may one day gain permanent psychological well-being. If we cannot forgive, we cannot forget. If we cannot forget, we cannot move on. I still remember what happened to me, but thanks be to God I have long forgotten the pain and confusion that was a result of the abuse. God has let me forget my troubles. (We actually got a dog from my uncle who was named Manasseh, which is what Joseph named one of his sons because “God [made him] forget all [his] trouble…” Genesis 41:51. I think that’s pretty cool.)

I have seen a few people quote Matthew 18:6 to support their desire to kill and even torture those who molest children. Well, here’s what I have to say to that. If we cause a child to withhold forgiveness because of how they see us treating those who hurt them, aren’t we causing them to stumble, too? If this is true, then any child caught in such a situation would be caused to stumble twice over the same matter. This is not progress. It’s actually a step backwards. I sometimes wonder if perhaps we stopped condemning pedophiles, but instead taught our children to forgive them, we might see a generation rise up that feels totally clean and pure even if they’ve experienced sexual abuse. For it was when I forgave that the end of my suffering and confusion began. It was when I truly forgave, not only in my heart but through confession of my lips as well, that I was able to begin the deeper healing process with Jesus. Allowing a child to begin deeper healing with Jesus is a higher priority than justice through vengeance in my books. I could be wrong, but if we can teach a child to forgive and walk with Jesus in their pain and suffering, than nothing in this life can hold them down even if they are made to stumble.

James 3:13-18

I was once bitter and unforgiving against the one who abused me. However, God was not pleased with my bitter and unforgiving heart, nor did he approve when my desire to take justice and vengeance into my own hands rose up in my heart. I realized that because Jesus does not bind me to my sin, I have no right to bind anyone to theirs, no matter how it might offend my human sensibilities (which are probably flawed). Not even I have any right to condemn a pedophile or child molester.

Jesus came to save ANYONE who would believe in him, right? Anyone. No matter what they’ve done. What message are we sending to pedophiles in this day and age? Most of us send the message that they cannot be saved, and they cannot be forgiven. What then will Jesus say when we are standing before him? Will he ask us, “Why did you place a stumbling block for those people? Why did you speak in a way that stopped them from being saved? Do you not know that I died for them, too? Does my sacrifice mean so little to you? Do you not know that my blood was shed for them just as much as it was shed for you?” Do we have so little respect for Christ’s suffering that we do not care that his wounds were for pedophiles, too?

As Christians, it is our duty to continue Christ’s ministry, and open a way for the Holy Spirit to impart truth to the world. We have really nailed in the truth that they have sinned, but have we balanced it with the truth that they can be forgiven? Not with pedophiles we haven’t. With pedophiles all we say is that they have sinned. Very few are willing to say that they can be forgiven.  Is that what we wish for? Do we wish for those who have molested children not to be forgiven? I believe that is selfish. I believe that dishonours Christ’s suffering. As much as many of us don’t want to think about it, they were made in the image of God, too. Just like us.

God loves them, too.

So, what message will we send to pedophiles the next time an opportunity to speak on the topic comes? Will we use partial, worldly, and even demonic wisdom to satisfy our own (often perverse) desire for justice? Or will we be quiet in spirit, and wait for the Holy Spirit to prompt us to open a way for them to hear the gospel. They can be forgiven, perhaps we should let them know. The blood of Christ can cleans us, and it can cleanse them, too.

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.  For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.” Colossians 1:15-16 All things includes all things, which includes pedophiles. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and it’s not up to us to rank who fell farther. It’s up to us to help each other find our way back, and to do so under the authority of Jesus. Let’s stop robbing Jesus of the people he died for because of our own selfish ambitions and bitterness. How about we speak life to everyone, even when it’s hard to? That’s what Jesus came to do.

And for those that say pedophiles cannot change, perhaps remember Matthew 19:26,

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'” (Again I will say, all things includes all things.)

And Proverbs 3:5-6,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

How much faith do we put in Jesus, and how much faith do we put in our own understanding?

Well, that’s all I have to say for now. Thank you for reading my blog. 🙂

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17 thoughts on “God Loves Pedophiles, Too

  1. Flowery Girl, you are bold to say this, but it is true.

    As much pain and damage as pedophiles cause, they are still people–people whom the Father loves. They must be accountable for their crimes and they be kept from children, but they must not be tortured or treated inhumanely.

    As believers, we should not hate them. If we hate, we suffer from the hatred more than they do.

    Thank you for this post.

  2. Rachel Friesen says:

    You are bold, my warrior friend. I love you and support you as you continue to step out in truth and love.

  3. Nakita says:

    I saw that photo with the supposed pedophile and the dog as well, and it made me sick to my stomach but I couldn’t think of a socially-acceptable reason why. This article is perfect and someone really needed to write this. I’m glad you did.

  4. a Christian says:

    Such kind and compassionate words are so rare that living for many p. is daily torment. People with this sexuality, even if they have never acted on their romantic feelings and physical attractions, are completely voiceless and get these kinds of messages more often:

    “Kill all those dam freaks by setting them on fire and then watch them writhe in utter AGONY”

    “Someone who hurts a child does not derserve to continue living. We should limit the life span of the pedophile to a non existance. After snuffing out the million or so of deviates, the market should dry up.”

    And this kind of treatment –

    now even concentration camps – see http://www.counterpunch.org/2006/03/04/scapegoats-and-shunning/

    So no wonder some categories of pedophiles are up to 183 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population –
    http://eprints.soton.ac.uk/62072/

    Many such people (exclusive and non-exclusive pedophiles and hebephiles) have done good things and have contributed to society through art, literature, philosophy, social activism. They were not monsters. People like Socrates, Plato, Sappho, Phidias, Donatello, Sa’di, Omar Khayam, Abu Nuwas, Lope de Vega, Novalis, Goethe, Lord Byron, Walt Whitman, John Ruskin, Ernest Dowson, Andre Gide, Thomas Mann, Hermann Hesse, Lewis Carroll, J.M. Barrie, Paul Verlaine, Stephane Mallarme, Paul Gauguin, W.H. Auden, Wilfred Owen, T.E. Lawrence, T.H. White, Paul Eluard, Paul Goodman, William Carlos Williams, Odysseus Elytis, Benjamin Britten, Tschaikovsky, Proust, Pier Paolo Pasolini, Gandhi, Allen Ginsberg…..

    If that surprises you, these studies about the prevalence of pedophilic attractions among men (most of whom maybe manage to deny and repress them) are interesting:
    http://mhamic.org/sources/halletal.htm

    Hall, G.C.N., Hirschman, R., & Oliver, L.L., “Sexual Arousal and Arousability to Pedophilic Stimuli in a Community Sample of Normal Men,” Behavior Therapy, vol. 26, 1995, pp. 681-694.

    Hall and colleagues describe their finding that according to both self-reports and physiological measurements, over 25% of the men in their sample of volunteers were sexually aroused by pre-pubescent girls at a level equal to or greater than their arousal to adult women.

    http://mhamic.org/sources/smiljanich&briere.htm

    Smiljanich, K. & Briere, J., “Self-reported sexual interest in children: Sex differences and psychosocial correlates in a university sample,” Violence & Victims, vol. 11, no. 1, 1996, pp. 39-50.

    Kathy Smiljanich and John Briere report that 22% of their sample of male college students admitted some attraction to children (although the word child was not defined). Four percent admitted having a sexual fantasy involving a child in the past year, and 3% admitted they might have sex with a child if they were assured it would not be detected or punished.

    So, we are talking about many millions of people. And they may be your brothers, sisters, your father, your mother, your son or your daughter. People usually discover their sexuality in early puberty. Compassion and nonviolence are better than hatred.

      1. anon says:

        Why? It shows that p. are human beings with feelings and value, rather than dirt to be spat on, kicked, silenced, dehumanized and discarded in modern concentration camps (prisons, civil commitment etc.).

    1. Hey, sorry it took me so long to reply. I’ve been quite occupied with adjusting to multiple changes lately. (Aldo this is s reply to your other comment. The commenting system wouldn’t let me reply the other comment directly.)
      The reason I don’t believe the power if Christ is behind that article is because there is a point at which the authors speaks very poorly of religion, and basicly states that religion’s want to opress people’s sexuality. If this person has no respect for religion then the author likely has no respect for Christianity, and so I think it is not unfair to make the conclusion that the author did not submit him or herself under Christ’s power or authority when writing the article.

  5. Who would Jesus cage? says:

    The dominant perception of pedophilia and pedophiles completely ignores much science dealing with the personality and behaviour of pedophiles/hebephiles ( see http://www.b4uact.org/facts.htm and the excellent article by the Professor Richard Green of Cambridge University here http://www.paraphilias.com/publications/commentary.html ) and the effects of this behaviour (the Rind et al. study, the Theo Sandfort and Susan Clancy studies etc.; also see http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs12119-002-1001-3 ; see also the case of Mary Kay Letourneau – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau). Not only does the narrative strongly dehumanise an entire enormous group of people – at least 70-140 million people globally if prevalence is only 1-2%, far far more/more than a quarter of the male population if the Smiljanich, Fedora et al., Quinsey et al., Firestone et al. and Briere and Runtz studies on the prevalence of pedophilia are accurate – see firstly
    http://www.b4uact.org/facts.htm ; Professor Tromovitch summarized the scientific studies which found a surprisingly high prevalence of pedophilia among men in these two posters below:

    Numerous studies demonstrate the many often very counter-productive results of current policies and the current discourse. The current social response to youth sexuality (and pedophilic, hebephilic and ephebophilic teens and adults) DOES NOT provide optimal protection for children from real abuse, which is certainly common and very worrying.

    Instead of supporting and encouraging the attempts of such people to live fulfilling and constructive, non-abusive lives, it is much more acceptable to dehumanise all the “pedos”, even regardless of their behaviour, to use them for political ends (see http://www.newstatesman.com/laurie-penny/2014/07/emergency-surveilliance-law-camerons-cynical-appeal-three-four-horsemen ), to cage them ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZmuXKNFIkM ), to send them to new forms of concentration
    camps (see http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/26/civil-commitment-sex-offenders , http://www.counterpunch.org/2006/03/04/scapegoats-and-shunning/ , http://sexgulag.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/what-you-must-know-sexually-violent.html and to drive them to suicide (http://eprints.soton.ac.uk/62072/ – “child sex offenders” were 183 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population).

    In the words of Freimond (file:///home/chronos/user/Downloads/etd8167_CFreimond%20(4).pdf): “Many adults who are attracted to minors experience intense suffering as a result of contemporary attitudes about them and current methods of relating to them. Even when no crimes have taken place and no sexual interaction with people below the age of consent has occurred, people who are sexually interested in children and adolescents encounter incredible stigma. They experience fear about the possibility of their desires becoming known to others, and they cope with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. These individuals are often completely alone in dealing with their feelings, as they may be too worried about the negative consequences that could arise from talking to loved ones. Further, they may feel restricted in seeking help from therapists, as mandatory reporting laws in many jurisdictions require counsellors to report their clients to the police if they express sexual interest in children. If the nature of their sexuality is revealed, these people are at risk of experiencing physical violence, losing relationships with their friends and families, being fired from their jobs, and encountering financial destitution. The situation facing this population is troubling, and researchers argue that a new, more compassionate approach is needed in order to help people who are attracted to children lead more positive lives (see Cantor, 2012; Goode, 2010).”

    As Felix Guattari wrote (see the book “A Shock to Thought: Expression After Deleuze and Guattari”), there is a certain “Jewishness” about pedophiles which leads to a “racist” reaction.

  6. Dear Anaisa,

    You’re so on point here! And it’s true that many of us shy away from making that confession, that their sins can be forgiven too, just like ours! That’s because we’re too angry to be loving. But God who is Love is both just and merciful. I think you summed it up here:

    “Let’s stop robbing Jesus of the people he died for because of our own selfish ambitions and bitterness. How about we speak life to everyone, even when it’s hard to? That’s what Jesus came to do.”

    Keep shining sister!

  7. As you can see, dear friend, there is a growing movement to normalize and decriminalize pedophilia. I agree with your heart of forgiveness toward those who have personally wronged us. But the flip side of that biblical coin is for authorities (parents, government, pastors, teachers) to protect children and punish those who hurt them.

    A man broke into our house and stole several items, as well as my feeling of security. I wrote a Facebook post while he still may have been in possession of my tablet and with access to my FB account. I wrote about how I had fallen short in my life as well and, dear thief, I forgive you with my whole heart. And then I told him that I have video surveillance of the entire break-in and would be turning it over to the authorities. In a couple weeks we will testify against the one who broke the (very good and right) law. We are not better than he is. And that is what the admonitions not to judge one’s value and stand over them in condemnation is for. But we are called throughout the old and new testaments to judge ideas and behaviors. Pedophilia breaks something precious. And those adults who use children for their own pleasure regardless of the destruction it wreaks on them must be punished. AND we can encourage children (and adults) to forgive those who have harmed us (and put up good boundaries.)

    Keep up the writing, friend. I’m glad to be in the same blogosphere as you!

    1. You are correct. I never knew until I saw the comments on this post that there are people in the world who believe children have any capacity for sexual relations. This has certainly opened my eyes.
      I suppose I become increasingly frustrated and disheartened when I see people using threats of torture and death and thinking that it’s perfectly fine. The reaction that I see most often, and with the most endurance, is an outcry for brutal vengeance.
      Once when I was in church God placed a burden on my heart for sexual offenders. It was so strong that I cried, and I immediately felt a strong desire to walk along side these offenders and offer them compassion and mercy. God has placed it heavily on my heart to show these offenders the grace and mercy of Jesus. Unfortunately, I have no idea where to start. Writing this blog post is the best I could do so far. (In many of the responsibilities that God has given me I often feel weak, useless and powerless.)
      Thank you for commenting. It so nice to be able to have rational conversation on thus subject. 🙂

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